On McIlroy

Context: here and here.
Less biased reporting.

Doug McIlroy can get a 1 out of /dev/zero.

Doug McIlroy can change file permissions using a magnet and a pin.

Doug McIlroy can read data from /dev/null.

Doug McIlroy can address 8 terabytes of RAM with only 32 bits.

Doug McIlroy can handle SIGKILL.

Doug McIlroy spawns Init.

Doug McIlroy can hard-link across devices.

Doug McIlroy can create 3-ended pipes.

Doug McIlroy dreams in binary.

Doug McIlroy eats serial ports for breakfast.

Doug McIlroy doesn't have an Erdos number; Erdos has a McIlroy number.

Doug McIlroy prototyped /dev/random with a toothpick and 4 cans of baked beans.

Doug McIlroy invented pipes.

Doug McIlroy thinks asm is for sissies.

Doug McIlroy invented diff to win a bet.

Doug McIlroy can read unbound variables.

Doug McIlroy can disprove tautologies.

Doug McIlroy's programs always terminate -- sometimes each other.

Doug McIlroy's programs don't need a garbage collector; they pick up their OWN garbage.

Doug McIlroy doesn't make system calls. System calls call Doug McIlroy.

Doug McIlroy doesn't use malloc to allocate memory. He uses his bare hands.

Doug McIlroy doesn't debug. He stares at tty0 until it fixes the problem.

Once, Doug McIlroy got mad at his terminal and smacked the keyboard. The result is called "Unix."

Alan Turing always wanted to win a McIlroy Award, but didn't qualify. No one has.

In 1984, the Department of Justice broke up AT&T because they had a monopoly. On Doug McIlroy.

Doug McIlroy supervises the hypervisor.

Doug McIlroy understands the internals of a hidden Markov model.

Doug McIlroy patented macros.

At Bell Labs, computers regularly crashed in fear when Doug McIlroy entered the room.

Thanks to John Marchesini, Christopher Masone, John Baek, Sean Smith, Rob Pike, and others for concocting and contributing to this list.